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Question: “ Ma-Ryah, I find myself allowing emotional hurt by a few people I love. This pattern keeps repeating and I can not see what my part is in this. I approach these people in a loving way and make every attempt to comply with their schedule to no avail. I have visitation with my granddaughter the first Saturday of every month when my son has her in his custody. I plan my life around the Saturdays that “ I should” get to see her but they keep changing the schedule and do not notify me. This has been almost a year now and we can not seem to work out these problems. My son does not return my calls unless he is needing some assistance from me. He usually has his partner now return calls. He will come to my home to see his brother and never address me. I understand he has his path to follow but what can I do to stop allowing the hurt? I know I can journey to my granddaughter any time but I miss the physical closeness. Thank you...           Terri....NJ

Answer: “ God’s Blessings! This is Ma-Ryah from the higher realms of God. We are honored to answer your question.

First we shall indeed acknowledge we do realize it is painful for you the human being to receive hurt from those you love. You are told within your world that you teach others how to treat you by the way you treat others. This is true and yet it is only part of the truth. The other side of it is to be able to see what you are also teaching others about how to treat you by the fears you carry with you. 

We do know you have great difficulty in standing up for Self as well as difficulty in confrontation. Your life experiences have validated through Shadow that you do not receive positive results for confrontation ~ and so you fear to create confrontation with your son in regards to this matter.

This is further complicated for you because it affects your time and relationship with your grandchild. Your heart is deeply invested in the final out come. We do understand the fear you have to speak with your son about this because he seems to hold the control of whether you see your grandchild or not.

We understand you have already had intervention of a Barrister and your legal system and have indeed received the monthly visitation time through this judgment.

Our advice which you may follow or not is this ~ Perhaps the time has come to invite your son to come and speak with you. Speak to him of your thoughts and feelings in regards to this issue. Even though your life experiences seem to prove to your Shadow Self that you do not benefit from confrontation, this is not truth in regards to your Grandparent’s Rights to see your grandchild. There your Shadow Self is able to see you achieved what you sought. Once you speak with your son about this, if it continues you are able once again to make use of Barrister and return to your legal system.

What if your son chooses not to come and speak with you? You are then able to write your words upon paper and use your postal system to know he receives your words.

You are also able to communicate with your son of how his choices in how he creates with you dishonors you as well as disrespects you. We do know you put much thought and focus to see him without judgment even though he creates choices you as Mother would not choose for him. Do you deserve less from him? We would say, No. If you had created in ways which were from Shadow and not Love, we would indeed speak of this. You do not. You choose to come from a center of Love and non-judgment. Allow your son to know you choose to communicate with him and not the woman he creates with. In regards to your visitation times with your grand child you do indeed have the legal rulings of your land to stand beside you.

When he comes into your home to see his brother and chooses not to acknowledge your presence you are able to address this in a beneficial way. Prepare for this moment when you are not in the midst of it and thus reacting from hurt. Spend some time in your Sacred area in nature. Allow voice and sound to be heard and to acknowledge the pain you receive by his lack of acknowledgment of you within your own home. When you feel you have heard and felt what is held within you, create the balance for Self. Does he indeed have the ability to change who you are in each moment? Only if you so empower him. Does his actions alter or affect your love of him? Only if you fail to acknowledge within Self the pain and hurt received through the filter of your core seed thought of not being good enough.

In meditation bring the energy of him to you and create with your guide as well as his for mediation of the shadow being created upon between the two of you. Create the relationship and understanding you choose to know and experience with your son. Honor the aspects of his Being as well as his choices that you would not choose for him. Recognize they do indeed serve him perfectly for what he seeks to create in this moment of time ~ and then let it go into the energy of your meditation and center. Honor the knowing he may not accept all experiences with you in life and let it go. Do the choices created upon from the Shadow or fear based ego self have the power to change who you both really are? Absolutely not! Know to the depth of your Being, what you create from the Sacred center of Self, what is accomplished in meditation and mediation with you, his self and your guides does indeed in time become your life experience with him. Once you create and prepare in this way you shall find your words come from the heart and from unconditional, nonjudgmental Love. When you create in this way and speak words to another from this place within you then you shall find you do not internalize the hurt and pain if his choices continue as they have been to this moment of time.

Until that occurs know and understand the choices you create upon. Do you receive the non-occurring visitations and allow the pain to fester or do you take care of Self and take what actions will bring you closer to what you choose to experience?

Yes, you are able to energetically journey to your granddaughter. Some times she is aware of your presence in this way, some times she is not. Is it necessary to settle in the human form for this type of connection only? No. Create in thought the possibility of outcomes you are able to experience based upon choices made. Which one aligns most harmonically with your choice of possible experiences? Ask Self if your choices, your words, your actions have brought you closer to this vision held of this experience or has it diminished your vision held of this experience? Are you reacting from fear or responding from consciousness and Love? 

Trust you are able to create as well from conscious choice and response, just as you have created fully in the reaction of fear. You have done much work with your Shadow Core Thought of not being good enough. Is it not time to give your Self experience in creating upon the absolute knowing that you are indeed good enough?

If you desire clarity for any thing we have communicated here you have only to ask. Know you are able to stand in and create from your Greater Truth and receive positive, beneficial results.

That is all. God’s Blessings....Ma-Ryah”