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Question: “ Ma-Ryah, I am in the process of getting divorced and it has proved to be very challenging. I believe it is best for me and for my children but because of his resistance it has been very difficult. I am not sure how to proceed. Will you give me guidance please? Thank you!” Maria

Answer: “ God’s Blessings! This is Ma-Ryah from the higher realms of God. We are pleased to hear from you and honored to answer your question. In many ways it is personal and for you and yet in other ways perhaps your answer is also able to help another.

We do have knowledge of both you and your soon to be divorced spouse. We do indeed understand many of the difficulties found within your individual process.

It has taken you many years to allow the journey with your spouse to be released, thus freeing each other up to create with the next human being who is able to assist each of you to continue on your journey of growth. You have taught one another many things. For him, it has been the opportunity to let go of fear and the desire to control what he fears to lose. With you, it has been to know who you are, and to stand in the truth of what you see your self as being, the human being. Each of you has learned what you once believed to be love was indeed found to not to be love, though in many ways there are aspects of one another each of you does love of the other one. The children who have joined you in this life is but one aspect each of you love dearly. Ultimately, it is for the children that the divorce is able to go through and be finished.

Perhaps ask your self, “ Is there anything yet for me to learn from interacting with him?” If there is, then you are able to choose to continue to learn and to grow. If there isn’t, then it is time perhaps to stand in the truth of self. Acknowledge without judgment how long your desire has been to be free of the marriage. See and understand without judgment how you continued within the marriage long after the love was felt within you. And at the same time see how your shadow of not wanting to upset, disappoint, or let down another holds you still in the hold of marriage though your life has moved on in a separate way for some time. See this aspect without judgment. It is not right, nor is it wrong. It merely is. This is the part still holding the process up of letting go. You fear to upset or cause greater misunderstandings and so you do not seek the guidance of an attorney. This works well for those who are in agreement that though the death of a marriage, the divorce, is painful and difficult ~ it is for the greater good of all concerned. This does not work so well for those who seek to have an ending to one aspect of their life when the partner does not desire the ending of the marriage. Your children are young adults, with the youngest fully able to understand both parents yet guide her and love her and it is not necessary for them to continue to live in anger, resentment and disharmony in order to be a vital part of her life and the life of her siblings. When the parents find balance the children quickly follow.

It is also important to see how through the years of disharmony the children have been pulled into aspects of the marriage that is not their place to be within, and to bring balance to this creation by not continuing to do so with the children. It does not matter if they are young adults now or not. They are still children in many ways in regards to this issue. One has sought to create confidences and approval and one has sought to incorporate the children into the web of judgment and often condemnation. This creates shadows within the lives of the children they will yet face in their lives as they enter into meaningful relationships with others. Forgive the self who created in this way and then let it go. Understand what you desire to become your reality is not able to occur as long as you allow the shadow of seeking to appease and please another.

What is your choice? Then go about making it your reality even if it means bringing in an attorney who is not emotionally invested in the outcome of what the two of you create. Without much consciousness on your part you are not able to receive what you seek as long as it is created from the shadow we have spoken about previously in this communication. To complicate what is being created yet more, throw in the shadows of , “ you don’t deserve to be loved because look how you have torn apart the family”, along with the shadow of “ you have gone against the Church”. All very strong shadows. Are you truly not deserving to be loved? Absolutely not! You deserve to be loved, and so does he. Perhaps mankind’s laws say it is against the Church, but God’s love does not depend upon the laws of mankind. “ A house divided against it’s self can not stand.” You, human beings are the house spoken of in this statement. If you do not stand within your truth, if you do not stand with self in the transformation and growth of self and thus honor who you are, then you are not able to stand in truth with any one or any thing. All you create is then impacted and affected by creating from a place of dishonesty and dishonor.

You and your spouse have many years together. You have walked together in life and joined with the children who came to you in this life time. Each of you has learned many things together as well as separately from one another. If you both chose to continue together, with work, with attention, with consciousness, with honor, without judgment or blame and with non-conditional love and acceptance of one another just as you are ~ then you are able to continue to walk forward in life together and once again know love. If the times you come together are instead reactive from resentments, blame, judgments, condemnation, irritation, anger and one or another ‘needing’ to be right, one or the other ‘needing’ to be superior to the other ~ then that is the dance you continue to dance with one another. You may choose to allow it to be as it is, or you may choose to create upon your choice. Review the reasons you chose to divorce in the first place. Do they still hold true for you? What then are you able to do differently to create what you choose to be the outcome? Ask your self are you still tied to the emotional and energy cords of the shadows to him and if yes, then perhaps allow another to represent you and choose an attorney to assist.

Speak to your spouse of what you have learned, in a balanced and harmonic way during your life with him. Nothing created now or in the perceived future is able to undo what was created and experienced. Speak to your spouse of your desire to move forward into life and your hope for him to do the same. Allow him to know how you see any future interaction with him and ultimately with your children and future seen grandchildren. Ask him how does he see these future interactions? How are the two of you able to create this together regardless of what is chosen for your own lives and where you go as far as your marriage. If it assists you to be able to achieve what you desire to create as your reality, perhaps speaking with a counselor or therapist would be found to be beneficial for your own self. We send you much love and many blessings as you create what you desire to know. Remember, you do deserve to be loved for who you are ~ each of you do!

God’s Blessings!” Ma-Ryah