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Question: “ Greetings Ma-Ryah, I hope you can help me with a problem that is devastating my family. My son who is 29 years old is an alcoholic and we suspect that he may be using drugs. I have gone to see an alcohol/drug counselor who suggested that I seek out an interventionist who will work with the alcoholic and the family for six months. This person will get the alcoholic into rehab. This service is very expensive and I am having financial difficulties now so there is no way that I can afford to do this. I have been told my son needs to have a spiritual awakening to change. Do you see this happening? 

I have always believed that God had special plans for my son. I don’t know if my son is lost, depressed or what. I am so afraid that if he doesn’t change, he will kill himself while drinking and driving or worse kill someone else. What do you see for my son and his wife? Do you feel he will overcome this? What can I do to help him?” T. in NJ

Answer: “ God’s Blessings! This is Ma-Ryah from the higher realms of God. We will first acknowledge your full question has been condensed in order to remove some very personal information about all that is occurring. This was indeed done with your permission. In some of the answer it will speak personally to you, in some of the answer it is able to be applied to anyone in a similar situation. Your pain is great and we do honor that pain as well as appreciation in your willingness to have your answer posted here where it may indeed assist others.

The journey of addiction is most often a very painful and difficult journey not only for the one who creates within the addiction, but also for those who love them. In your world are many addictions, drugs, alcohol, food, nicotine, danger, control and sexual addictions. Each of these are ways a human being seeks to get away from pain they find within their own selves. Each one carries it’s own effect on those who love the ones addicted. We do not find drug addiction within your son though we do find usage of drugs from time to time. When there is a genetic connection to an addiction it merely offers a greater opportunity for a human to create within the addiction. It does not mean it is necessary. Sometime a Soul will incarnate within a family in order to transform the addiction and thus transform the family scripts and such. If the person begins to create within an addiction which is already in a family and has been for generations the chance of it becoming an addiction for them is greatly increased.

We do understand in your world that often great amount of money is required in order to receive all the beneficial help offered. Perhaps the counselor is able to guide you to means which will assist your son being able to benefit from this service. Also know within yourself that until such time as your son perceives he has this addiction and able to see the effect upon those who love him intervention may not be very successful. We understand there are many services within your world which does not require the exchange of money. We also do understand some of the words we share here will not soothe your pain for we do see the great love you have for your son, as well as the fear you have for your son.

Understand please that you are not able to change the course your son has chosen. Only he may do that. You may choose how you respond and react to the choices he creates upon. You, and his spouse are able to make use of the organizations placed within your world to assist yourselves to transform and to heal. In your world does Alanon exist as well as several other similar organizations to assist the family and loved ones of the addict.

Speak with your son at a moment in time when he is not under the influence of either alcohol or drugs. Speak to him from your heart and the depth of your love for him. Share with him your fears. Allow him to know how greatly you would spare him any pain if you were but able to spare him. Speak to him perhaps of his childhood and the steps you took to insure he would not grow up under the shadow of an alcoholic, speaking to him as adult to adult. You will both find moments in this when you react from a place of pain, sorrow and hurt from moments past. Communicate completely and honestly with him. Allow him to also hear the words held within you of the pain you see within your daughter-in-law and your young grandchildren. Share with him the similarities you see in her that had been found also within yourself all those many years ago.

Often in your world you hear the words that an addict must indeed hit rock bottom before they begin to heal and create without the shield of addiction. In many ways this is true though rock bottom for one is different than another. For one addict the fear of losing the spouse and children is great. For another addict the loss must indeed be experienced in order to justify the difficult and painful journey from addiction to freedom.

Does God have special plans for your son? Every human being has a special plan for being here. You have already experienced miracles in your life through the gift of your son, believe and have faith more miracles are possible. Remember in those moments past the power of prayer. Remember every journey, every choice is for a reason. Sometimes the reason shows self and others of the result of a life lived where love is pushed aside...other times it shows the gift of a life lived where love is returned to and celebrated! Also remember, sometimes the greatest teachers and healers of addictions are those who have walked through it and transformed the addiction.

We do understand your fear of your son losing his life as well as the fear of him taking the life of another. It is for that reason we advise you to speak to your son clearly, honestly and lovingly with your son. To do what is within your abilities to do to assist him to hear the words you speak, to see the gift of life he seeks to destroy and allow him to know that just as he is, he is loved. We know your love is great for your words shared with us, removed here in your letter are great! Assist him to see perhaps the seeds of life and creating within life that he now plants within his children. Does he desire the legacy of addiction to also walk with his children? Know deeply within your own Self he is first to remember he is worthy of love, happiness, balance and harmony before he is able to see it clearly as part of another. The greatest gift of the Human Being is the ability to love and be loved, just as each one is...Allow your son to know he is loved by you immensely. Perhaps your son shall not require a very painful rock bottom moment to occur to awaken him once again to the Spiritual awareness of his life and the life of those he affects and impacts with his choices....We shall indeed hold that vision of him within our love also...

That is all. God’s Blessings” Ma-Ryah